Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and some other phrases and words are among a few words that foreigners simply in Korea learn and included in this is usually the term chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this term to their sentences that are english hesitation and use it seemingly without understanding what it really means. It is probably certainly one of my least favorite words in Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years back, I became taking Korean classes four days per week for four hours every day. I became devouring just as much because I was dating a Korean man, most of my friends were Korean and of course I was living in Korea and I wanted to make life just a bit easier as I could of the language. Prior to taking the classes, I became hesitant and weary of the thing I regarded as forced respect inside the guidelines of this language, components of the language that force us to show a respect that we might n’t have for someone. Simply because folks are older doesn’t mean they always deserve respect as well as that point I’d held it’s place in enough circumstances to understand that a number of, usually, men just assumed in numerous ways that I should be respectful of them even though they disrespected me. Through the classes, we discovered just how to show my disapproval when being disrespected without being downright rude and I also discovered just how to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the greatest classes I discovered, however, was that We have almost no “friends” in Korea. (From here in out “friend” in parenthesis is the Korean kind of friend while a friend that is freestanding function as the English version.)

My better half, boyfriend at that time, and I also made a decision to have a meet up at our home and invited our close Korean friends. There were about 10 of us round the dining table and I also had been the foreigner that is only the area. Only at that point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of his buddies for a great four to five years plus in my tongue that is native would call them my buddies. Following the food ended up being completed and also the plates acquired, a game was thought by me could be enjoyable. Using what I’d discovered from course on how best to call some body by title, I said, “So-yung-a, would you like to play a casino game?” utilising the lower kind of the language. I experienced been gaining confidence with the language and deploying it whenever i really could. There was clearly an audible gasp and after a matter of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two of this more aggressively conservative users of the team explained i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Buddy 1: So-yung is over the age of you will be.

Buddy 2: You can’t say “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than she actually is.

Me personally: We’re friends though.

Friend 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me: What would you suggest? I’ve known her for decades. She is had by me telephone number within my phone. We see her a great deal. Our company is friends and my book says that is an ending that is appropriate a friend.

Friend 2: No, you can’t be friends than you are because she is older.

Me: I r/okcupid don’t understand what you’re saying.

Buddy 1: it is possible to simply be buddies with some one this is the same age as yourself.

Me: Well, that doesn’t make any feeling. You will be all my buddies and you are all more than i will be.

Friend 1: We aren’t your pals.

After because I was just told I had no friends and also because the language they were using to express their viewpoint was very aggressive and I don’t handle aggressive situations very well that I went to my room for a little cry mostly. Originating from a training viewpoint, aggressively attacking students for making use of a word or a term inappropriately hardly ever makes the student respond in a good method. Often, the learning pupil can be more timid to utilize the language or you will need to utilize terms as time goes on unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. I additionally reminded my “friends” later on that I don’t attack them if they misuse a word, if it is exceptionally rude, I remind myself so it’s not their first language and I attempt to assist them to realize why it can be taken the wrong way. My “friends” but, are not therefore patient with my language acquisition. I had taken some things and words in the book for granted not realizing they didn’t mean what it appeared they meant though I had excitingly read through my lesson books and went through discussions in my class. Two associated with the more tolerant people in our team came in to soothe me personally and explain in nicer terms what everyone had gotten so upset about.

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